Happiness

Most Americans want to be happy. In fact, we are so keen to be happy that we even sacralized it in our Declaration of Independence.We spend most of our waking hours doing things that we believe are "in the pursuit of happiness." But how many of us are actually "happy"? How many of us can honestly say that we have reached the peak of the mountain, where happiness abides, and we are now permanent residents there?

The truth is, not many people are happy these days. There is perennial and perpetual grousing from Americans at every level of our society. Even those you might imagine would be the happiest among us -- the very wealthy individuals who never have to worry about money, cars, or unpaid medical bills -- seem to be unhappy. They are constantly trying to accumulate more and more wealth, as though their pursuit of happiness requires the never-ending acquisition of ever more money. They are persistently trying to use their fortunes to change our culture into their own likeness, indicating that they are unhappy with the way our nation is evolving. It also means that those of us at the lower end of the socio-economic scale are probably equally happy, or equally miserable, as those at the very tippy-top.

Why is that? Could it be because we treat happiness like it is a destination? Like it is a place that we will eventually move to, and live there forever? Or like it is a material reality, and if we can just own enough of that material, we will own happiness?

Paradoxically, thinking of happiness in those terms is to invite unhappiness, because it is an unrealistic idealization of happiness that can never be attained. Like the Buddha taught us, unfulfilled desires lead to suffering. And there is no greater suffering than the unfulfilled desire to live in a place called happiness. Unless, of course, you move to Happy, Texas, population 647. Even there, though, the population is very tiny.

Perhaps what is needed is to reorient our understanding and expectations of happiness. Maybe happiness is not a place where we get to stay forever. It may, instead, be constituted of rare moments in time; when we are in the loving embrace of the woman or man we love, for example, or giving loud and laughing smoochie kisses to our young children and grandchildren. Or during peak moments of performance, like running in a race, or playing music in front of an appreciative audience, or standing on a mountain enjoying wonderful vistas.

Happiness is, indeed, a rare commodity in a long human life, which is why we are more apt to cherish and remember moments like these. At the end of our lives, perhaps those collective minutes of happiness will be added up and presented to us for review, and only then will we realize that most of our lives were passed in happiness, even though they seemed instead to be filled with heartache and sorrow. It could be that by understanding the very fleeting and passing nature of happiness, and not expecting that it will be a permanent psychological or material experience, we will actually find ourselves to be more happy. Perhaps by appreciating the serendipitous moments in our lives when we feel happy, we will actually find ourselves living a more joyful existence.