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Wednesday, January 25, 2012

I Will No More

There was a time when I would die for you,
a time when I would fight to keep you;
days when I would have wrestled with angels
just to have you one day longer.
I will no more.

There was a time when I would deny for you,
cheat myself of both time and money,
steal love from my children and give it to you
just so I could hold you in my arms.
I will no more.

To say I regret having you in my life is not true.
Nor can I truthfully say I am glad to have known you.
You are a ghost now, a bothersome phantom
pain from my amputated heart.
I used to think about you and pray for you every day.
I will no more.

I have only the remainder of my life to live,
and every day without you becomes a little easier.
Perhaps easier is not completely accurate; rather,
I am grown adjusted to living life in pain.
I used to anesthetize my lingering love for you,
but I will no more.

I have discovered that happiness, like love,
is a completely voluntary decision to make.
You made your choices, seeking happiness in the arms
of codependent addictions and your other lovers.
I used to let that make me sad and lonely.
I will no more.

© Francisco G. Rodriquez, 2012

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