I Will No More

There was a time when I would die for you,

a time when I would fight to keep you;

days when I would have wrestled with angels

just to have you one day longer.

I will no more.

There was a time when I would deny for you,

cheat myself of both time and money,

steal love from my children and give it to you

just so I could hold you in my arms.

I will no more.

To say I regret having you in my life is not true.

Nor can I truthfully say I am glad to have known you.

You are a ghost now, a bothersome phantom

pain from my amputated heart.

I used to think about you and pray for you every day.

I will no more.

I have only the remainder of my life to live,

and every day without you becomes a little easier.

Perhaps easier is not completely accurate; rather,

I am grown adjusted to living life in pain.

I used to anesthetize my lingering love for you,

but I will no more.

I have discovered that happiness, like love,

is a completely voluntary decision to make.

You made your choices, seeking happiness in the arms

of codependent addictions and your other lovers.

I used to let that make me sad and lonely.

I will no more.

© Francisco G. Rodriquez, 2012